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April 9th, 2004

12:35 pm: what to do
okay today is friday .. there is the ap house welcome tonight and i gues it shld be fun .. but i got up today to meet sriram and nw its like 12 and i got no idea what to do ... watching a movie is an option but i guess ill go mad very soon if i keep watching movies at the rate i have been for the past 2 months or something
guess itll just work itself out ..

April 5th, 2004

09:34 pm: days before school
this must the only time in my life that i actually want school to start having got a great dose of boredom over the last couple of months. although school would mean geting up on time once again and then there is japanese to learn and other classes to go to and assignments to do and exams to write okay uget the picture..
finally ap house is in party mood again which is a relief from the dead place it had become and there is all the excitement that new guys bring.. i wonder how long it willl last though..
in all lifes good and lookin to get better..
however i am still single and now contemplating seriously that i should try and get myself a girl.. i mean ya i know i a girlis not veggies u can justgo and find at maroo shyoku but at least i should stop running away from relationships.. i wonder though as always whether i will be upto it and if it will not ruin my studies .. but what the hell ... man
me going girl finding !!!

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: bruises - unloco

March 22nd, 2004

10:08 pm: wassup
life seems busy though i am not doing anything really..
this baito at ufuin is a real pain in the ass, its cold and its drab
but gives me an interesting perspective.. like ufuin is a resort town .. people come here to have a break form their lives, spend a day in the cool weather and enjoy the famous hot springs of ufuin..
so every day in the bus i see these interesting groups of people, some high school trips, some cozy family groups and some groups of lots of families, and its funny to look at them all tired and woebegone at the end of their "fun day".
i also see some foreigners, some living in japan and others not, and at times strike a conversation although i really am tired and dying to get home.. human observation and its really interesting
shit i am going to fukuoka this weekend, and i havent even started my presentation ..
somebody do it for me guys!!...

Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: train - let it roll

March 11th, 2004

07:19 pm: hmmm
life was never a such a drab . i get up thinkin ill do this today and do that tommorow and at the end of the day the only thing i have done is cooked my dinner and checked my mailbox . where is all the energy gone i have to ask myself .... but dude cant find it, wherever it is.
i am scared to make decisions and am scared to do anything apart from watching movies. i dont know its not that i dont have friends to visit or things to do but i just keep postponing it till it gets too late. dont tell me i am in love cause i dont have the inclination or the energy , probabaly tommorow will be better
oh shit .. life is so dry

March 10th, 2004

01:12 pm: spring
hey the beginning of spring is here at last
the sunlight comes through the window like
smile breaking thru on the weather god lips
and the flowers blossom and the birds chirp
and i sing ... to celebrate whats best on this earth !!!!

hey !! i woke up to such brilliant sunshine today that it was incredible, i had slept leaving the curtains drawn adn when the morning light pricked my closed eyes it was the best way to be woken up after a girls kiss.
but aditi told me yesterday that good weather here only lasts for 3 days .. god i hope that is a myth and this weather greets me every morning..

k i got stuff to do .. so catch u folks later..

Current Mood: happy but nervous
Current Music: show me the meaning - backstreet boys

February 27th, 2004

02:16 am: another day
so after many days i got up before the afternoon and saw the morning sun. actually i have always found the morning sun fscinating, how we start our day when the sun begings its ascend across our sky. i wonder if we can classify it as just another star. i think in ancient cultures, egytians worshipped the Ra and in greek culture Helios, the Sun god they did not do it without reason. and even today i would some early mornings look at the sun ( only momentarily though ) and wonder how it is the centre of all life and existence on our planet.
i must say that today i did not get up to the see the beauty of the morning sunlight but because i had a performance of the the philipino dance group bayanihan. we got on to the bus thinking the 15 of us were bound for miyazaki but in the end it turned out to be a small village close to kita kyushu where we were to perform. although there was no stage and no changing rooms it actually worked to our advantage as the nervous evaporated as the setting was rural and comforting. the performance was fun and enjoyed, i believe, by one and all in the crowd.
the evening was has been great too so far with me managing to get a hair cut afetr days of delay .. all thanx to marion and tuuli

February 26th, 2004

07:24 pm: thinkin
I look in front of me and i see a pile of trash, a pile of junk. just like crumpled up tissue paper thrown without being used.. life seems wastefull and wasted. i crave for alcohol, for love and for lust. i crave for my house and my car. i crave for sins. i want to possess and burn. my life is getting wasted in a cloud of smoke.
this amazing world of ours, this maze of corporates and high lcients, of cities cars, of tequila and bars, and of girls with colored hair and fashionably dressed guys. i want to stop sometime, stop and take a look around, what i have passed behind me and what lies in front. i want to know what it is that i chase and what chases me and if there is nothing then why should i run, why this race.
i see new brands of beer, flashing their existence on bright billboards. Clouds of smoke rising from my friends lips, and we the young generation of our species losing ourselves in this haze, in this maze. but why are we attracted to this forbidden and denounced land, is it to show our disrespect for the rules or something more.. a run form our existence .. an escape?
i see a beautiful girl walking down the street, with her every step her hair bounce like a wave on the ocean... i look at her again as if in a trance, the crowd and the street are lost in a blurr and i only see her as she crosses the street and walks away as i am stranded on the same stop. i wonder if it was admiration for her beauty or just lust, i get on my heels and look for her in the crowd again but she is gone.
i look above my tray of hamburgers and see the mercs and BMWs streaming past, probably speeding to catch some more money, time is money they say. but is that all. In my penthouse i have everything i ever desired .. swedish furniture, japanese technology, american accessories but i do not have people . i do have friends but they are too busy setting up their own perfect lives and homes.
i have a desire to travel, to see the world but i wonder if it will be too amazing. i see clips from all around the world and everywhere it is the same, the same people the same suffering.
on the train, a child comes up to me and offers me a piece of his chocolate. i see his innocent smile. i relax and take a deep breath, like an exhausted man after a cross country run. looking out of the window at the passing view i am still looking for the edge, the ege to live my life on !!!

Current Mood: soulfull
Current Music: here without you - 3 doors down

February 11th, 2004

08:12 pm: first home stay
so went to this home stay last weekend
firstly i got on to the wrong train ...
u know the trains here are fast and so many tracks here that its confusing
and then all the info is in kanji ...
so i landed up around 30 kms off my home stay target..
just thank god for mobile phones ..
i then called the lady to whose house i was going ( i will call her okasan from now on)
and she goes "arararararara"
just like that lady in kyunki ....
i couldnt control my laughter..
anyways she told me how to get there and finally
about 1 and half hours late i reached ... the right station
from where she picked me up

the home was real nice
at least it was a house .. and not an apartment in a 20 story building
like most are here in japan
at home were just the couple .. okasan and otosan
they are about 60 and 55 in age and have 4 grandchildren
both were very nice and friendly ....
especially considering the fact that their limited english ability and my limited jap meant that conversation was tough
but still me and okasan were chatting for long ...

dinner was pretty interesting will tell u more later
dont think i have a trace of vegetarian left in me ...

the next day we went to ufuin
its this famous hill station in oita prefecture..... like mussoorie u could say
really nice ...
oh my god i want a camera sooooooooo baaaad
it was real good ... lots of shops ..

now u must know that japan is full of dormant volcanoes
so there are a host of hot springs here u know
and hot natural water
now these japanese people are just obsessed with bathing and relaxing in these hot springs ..
they are called "onsens"
now u must also understand that these onsens are not just there anymore
they are fully commercialised phenomenon..

so coming back to ufuin .. my home stay people were abolutely avid on
making me have my first onsen experience
so there we were .. at the famous onsen at ufuin ...
paying 600 yen an hour per head ...
oka san went the ladies one while i and otosan went to dudes thingi
i must also tell u at this point .. that these are extremely sacred phenomenon
so u must enter the onsen wearing nothing but nothing
That also with someone i just met yesterday... and is about 30 yeasr older than me
people !!!!! respect !!!!!

thats why i call it an onsen experience
anyways i entered the area .. with a small towel to try and hide myself...
but i must admit it was good ... once u go past the initial shyness
u start to enjoy it .. the blue sky .. the birds ...the trees
and then a hot boiling water pool ( ya its absolutely boiling )
u let urself go .. and relax .....
" this is life " i said to myself ...

after an hour of royal bathing i was out and about in ufuin
i had a nice lunch at one of the restaurants and then ice cream
but the fatc that my lunch itself cost yen 1000...
made me feel a little guilty..

so on the way back i was dropped back to AP house
where i live ...
and the home stay was over ..
a truly wonderful experience...

February 9th, 2004

07:13 pm: first time
so here i am using lj for the first time. actually i have wanted to maintain an online diary for some time now so thanks to shrada for getting me started at last.
right is the time for hols at apu, the univ is am currently at and shld be for the next 4 years unless i am thrown out, and basically there is nothing to do here to pass your time.. no studies, no lectures, and no friends. ya all my friends are currently back in india enjoying butter chicken and dal makhani and u might want to ask me what i am doing here in this deserted camp up on the top of a mountain.
seriously speaking even i dont know... i told my parents that i am not coming back right now its just been six months u know ... havent even settled in here yet .. havent done anything here man ...
whatever i am not going back o stop thinking about it.. just chill butt and be productive..

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